Always! But Why?

That pain in your eyes, when you try hard not to cry. That lump in your throat when you try hard not to speak. After all this time? One may ask. And, always, you say. There comes a moment when you lose your hold on everything, everything that you yet managed to ignore, everything that you yet managed to hide. After all this time? You may ask yourself. And, always, you say. And you still don't know why!